Monziggeppak is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish naga.

Monziggeppak created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Monziggeppak, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Monziggeppak, she will destroy your home solar system.

Monziggeppak's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Monziggeppak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about goats.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Monziggeppak.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near whales while wearing cyan coats and balancing eight platinum spheres on your neck.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never feed lots of oranges to shrews while wearing brown stockings.