Jatfongeb is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, vain meerkat.

Jatfongeb created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatfongeb, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jatfongeb, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jatfongeb's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Jatfongeb's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Jatfongeb three times a day.

2. Run away from gray moths, for they are unholy.

3. Always help grasshopers.

4. Never talk about dolphins.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.