Jamlibsafflap is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witless armadillo.

Jamlibsafflap created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamlibsafflap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamlibsafflap, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Jamlibsafflap's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jamlibsafflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Never look at comets.