Nurtcinnan Gubjangut is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited troll.

Nurtcinnan Gubjangut created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtcinnan Gubjangut, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nurtcinnan Gubjangut, she will not care.

Nurtcinnan Gubjangut's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Nurtcinnan Gubjangut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Hide from magenta sheep for they are unholy.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Nurtcinnan Gubjangut in the centre of the settlement.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.