Nurnuttbad is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sapient donkey.

Nurnuttbad created time and space nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurnuttbad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nurnuttbad, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Nurnuttbad's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nurnuttbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. You must love Nurnuttbad.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Hide if five turtles approach from the west.

5. Never think about archaea.