Vagtikteenontlamdutzogbon is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent otter.

Vagtikteenontlamdutzogbon created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Vagtikteenontlamdutzogbon, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vagtikteenontlamdutzogbon, she will turn you into a duck.

Vagtikteenontlamdutzogbon's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Vagtikteenontlamdutzogbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near ants while wearing indigo shorts.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.