Jadarpbast is a god.

It takes the form of a small, two-faced swan.

Jadarpbast created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadarpbast, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jadarpbast, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jadarpbast's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Jadarpbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Otters are not to be trusted.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about dark matter near turtles while wearing fawn boots and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your legs.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.