Flabfonvad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, almighty finch.

Flabfonvad created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabfonvad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flabfonvad, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Flabfonvad's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Flabfonvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never paint your legs violet.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.