Bunteenrap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, fussy tortoise.

Bunteenrap created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bunteenrap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bunteenrap, he will not care.

Bunteenrap's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bunteenrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta skirts.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never feed lots of onions to squirrels while wearing brown shirts.

4. Never laugh near hamsters.

5. Do not chop down trees.