Gartinmab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, ill-tempered hamster.

Gartinmab created the Sombrero Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gartinmab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gartinmab, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gartinmab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gartinmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven turtles in a large pit.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics.

3. Do not eat grapes.

4. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Gartinmab on top of important buildings.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.