Tonkfatarnmot Timyarpveen is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, contented swan.

Tonkfatarnmot Timyarpveen created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfatarnmot Timyarpveen, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tonkfatarnmot Timyarpveen, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tonkfatarnmot Timyarpveen's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Tonkfatarnmot Timyarpveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near doves while wearing black skirts and balancing four carbon spheres on your head.

2. Always help whales.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Retreat if nine sharks approach from the east.
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