Targflowzed is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, proud squirrel.

Targflowzed created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Targflowzed, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Targflowzed, it will turn you into a plant.

Targflowzed's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Targflowzed's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never feed lots of onions to dogs while wearing turquoise skirts.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Do not chop down trees.