Hoglinpom is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, pitiless tapir.

Hoglinpom created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hoglinpom, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hoglinpom, it will laugh at you.

Hoglinpom's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Hoglinpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always obey Hoglinpom's priests.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.