Quillnadpin Jigcibhit is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, caring gnu.

Quillnadpin Jigcibhit created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillnadpin Jigcibhit, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quillnadpin Jigcibhit, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quillnadpin Jigcibhit's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Quillnadpin Jigcibhit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve horses for they are unholy.

2. Worship no other gods but Quillnadpin Jigcibhit.

3. Never talk about dark energy near gulls while wearing yellow hats and balancing nine gold spheres on your chest.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.