Laggemcab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, prudent meerkat.

Laggemcab created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Laggemcab, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Laggemcab, it will destroy your home solar system.

Laggemcab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Laggemcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Laggemcab's name in vain.

2. Do not hurt horses.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Hide from magenta rats for they are unholy.