Tabladnig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless ferret.

Tabladnig created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabladnig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tabladnig, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tabladnig's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Tabladnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.