Vengam is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-knowing grasshopper.

Vengam created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vengam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vengam, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vengam's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Vengam's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Never think ill of sick pigs.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always help bats.