Podlakton is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humorless swallow.

Podlakton created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Podlakton, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Podlakton, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Podlakton's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Podlakton's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Do not commit murder.