Weekembaf is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, generous penguin.

Weekembaf created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Weekembaf, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Weekembaf, he will turn you into a goat.

Weekembaf's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Weekembaf's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Weekembaf in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never paint your face brown.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.