Bodruttbim is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered seal.

Bodruttbim created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodruttbim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bodruttbim, it will not care.

Bodruttbim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bodruttbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Bodruttbim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.