Jinpan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, ruthless hamster.

Jinpan created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinpan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jinpan, it will try to impress you with trees.

Jinpan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Jinpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not keep six voles in a large pit.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about stars.