Gemgoflen is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, able dugong.

Gemgoflen created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemgoflen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gemgoflen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gemgoflen's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gemgoflen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near manatees while wearing cyan corsets.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Hide from black doves for they are unholy.