Zig Yikflaghud is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, overgenerous bee.

Zig Yikflaghud created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zig Yikflaghud, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zig Yikflaghud, she will turn you into a puffin.

Zig Yikflaghud's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Zig Yikflaghud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never feed strawberries to bats while wearing red shirts.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Zig Yikflaghud.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.