Rutrutfem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair hummingbird.

Rutrutfem created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutrutfem, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Rutrutfem, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Rutrutfem's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Rutrutfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. You must pray to Rutrutfem three times a day.

3. Never mention nematodes.

4. Always wear black.

5. Rutrutfem must be the most important thing in your life.