Tagjarnfabpib is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-powerful hyena.

Tagjarnfabpib created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Tagjarnfabpib, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tagjarnfabpib, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tagjarnfabpib's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tagjarnfabpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick moths.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never feed lots of figs to tortoises while wearing yellow ear rings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never pour water over plants.