Bemquamtag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awesome yak.

Bemquamtag created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemquamtag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bemquamtag, he will curse you with boils.

Bemquamtag's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bemquamtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Never talk about spacetime near goats while wearing black ear rings.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.