Jencadpin is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, all-powerful snail.

Jencadpin created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jencadpin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jencadpin, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jencadpin's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Jencadpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never eat gooseberries.