Gemcinlap is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, happy crocodile.

Gemcinlap created the planet Mars nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemcinlap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gemcinlap, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Gemcinlap's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Gemcinlap's Holy Commandments

1. Gemcinlap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always treat horses with great respect.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not commit murder.