Titcitjad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving fly.

Titcitjad created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Titcitjad, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Titcitjad, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Titcitjad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Titcitjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near monkeys while wearing pink dresses and balancing five lead spheres on your head.