Vonvigveen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, contented walrus.

Vonvigveen created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Vonvigveen, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonvigveen, he will turn you into a goat.

Vonvigveen's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Vonvigveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never think about ultrasonics.

3. Never eat pineapples.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near shrews while wearing indigo shirts and balancing three copper spheres on your chest.

5. Do not cook food in pots.