Yarpcenduss is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humorless troll.

Yarpcenduss created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcenduss, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarpcenduss, it will turn you into a goat.

Yarpcenduss' most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yarpcenduss' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never mention snakes.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not speak about tomatoes.