Rulltonkranrutciplungarcet is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, fussy mongoose.

Rulltonkranrutciplungarcet created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulltonkranrutciplungarcet, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rulltonkranrutciplungarcet, he will turn you into a mole.

Rulltonkranrutciplungarcet's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Rulltonkranrutciplungarcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Rulltonkranrutciplungarcet.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Do not speak about beans.