Shavratsand is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless shark.

Shavratsand created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Shavratsand, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Shavratsand, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Shavratsand's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Shavratsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near frogs while wearing green shorts.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Put Shavratsand first in all things.

4. Shavratsand loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

5. Never play with disobedient children.