Dabhakbam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, sapient cat.

Dabhakbam created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabhakbam, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dabhakbam, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Dabhakbam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dabhakbam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple dogs, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never think about dark matter near goats while wearing blue coats and balancing six copper spheres on your legs.