Wonwapstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome porpoise.

Wonwapstaf created the Black Eye Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wonwapstaf, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Wonwapstaf, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wonwapstaf's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Wonwapstaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat spinach.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not shave your arms.