Bafgadcap is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, happy goblin.

Bafgadcap created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafgadcap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bafgadcap, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Bafgadcap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bafgadcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never hurt aardvarks.

3. Never think about spacetime near dolphins while wearing yellow coats and balancing seven carbon spheres on your feet.

4. Retreat if three cats approach from the east.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.