Dissitmig Sugbetbab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, witty hippopotamus.

Dissitmig Sugbetbab created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Dissitmig Sugbetbab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dissitmig Sugbetbab, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dissitmig Sugbetbab's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Dissitmig Sugbetbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near pigs while wearing red tights and balancing five gold spheres on your feet.

2. Hide from turquoise snails for they are unholy.

3. Always help sharks.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about planets.