Begpadpangcab Cusszednarlpag Tombot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humane hedgehog.

Begpadpangcab Cusszednarlpag Tombot created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Begpadpangcab Cusszednarlpag Tombot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Begpadpangcab Cusszednarlpag Tombot, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Begpadpangcab Cusszednarlpag Tombot's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Begpadpangcab Cusszednarlpag Tombot's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick rats.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism.

3. Never talk about special relativity near mites while wearing red stockings.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near dolphins while wearing white shorts and balancing eight silver spheres on your neck.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.