Flapgatwot is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody pigeon.

Flapgatwot created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapgatwot, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flapgatwot, it will have a low opinion of you.

Flapgatwot's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Flapgatwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of coconuts to monkeys while wearing red trousers.

2. Flapgatwot loves gulls, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.