Tapingtit is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, emotional alligator.

Tapingtit created silver three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapingtit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tapingtit, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tapingtit's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Tapingtit's Holy Commandments

1. Tapingtit must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never feed corn to bats while wearing corsets.

3. Always wear black.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Do not kill horses.