Bagkaddog is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome faun.

Bagkaddog created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagkaddog, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bagkaddog, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bagkaddog's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bagkaddog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help birds.

2. Do not take Bagkaddog's name in vain.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about doves.