Nurlbasttip is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, flying tapir.

Nurlbasttip created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbasttip, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nurlbasttip, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nurlbasttip's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nurlbasttip's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nurlbasttip first in all things.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Never paint your head gray.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurlbasttip.