Bigrotnabsugran is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, fussy octopus.

Bigrotnabsugran created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigrotnabsugran, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bigrotnabsugran, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bigrotnabsugran's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bigrotnabsugran's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back black.

2. Bigrotnabsugran must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never hurt great tits.
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