Tenmetten is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, confident goose.

Tenmetten created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenmetten, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tenmetten, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tenmetten's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tenmetten's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near snails while wearing purple trousers.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Tenmetten on top of all buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.