Hitlaphenyart Gabvabtan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering badger.

Hitlaphenyart Gabvabtan created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitlaphenyart Gabvabtan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hitlaphenyart Gabvabtan, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hitlaphenyart Gabvabtan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hitlaphenyart Gabvabtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not hurt badgers.