Gambinjip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish spider.

Gambinjip created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gambinjip, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gambinjip, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gambinjip's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Gambinjip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple birds, for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never bounce near bats.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Frogs are not to be trusted.