Gilweeranwannarcaptim is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust jackal.

Gilweeranwannarcaptim created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Gilweeranwannarcaptim, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gilweeranwannarcaptim, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gilweeranwannarcaptim's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Gilweeranwannarcaptim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Gilweeranwannarcaptim must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gilweeranwannarcaptim.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.