Wigfunjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a large, staggering donkey.

Wigfunjarn created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigfunjarn, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wigfunjarn, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wigfunjarn's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Wigfunjarn's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Wigfunjarn.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near cats while wearing pink shorts and balancing seven iron spheres on your hands.

3. Always help sick foxes.

4. Always help squirrels.

5. Wigfunjarn loves swans, so they must be honoured.