Hottonkloop is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating goat.

Hottonkloop created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Hottonkloop, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hottonkloop, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hottonkloop's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Hottonkloop's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

3. Always look after injured ducks.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.