Kabarptad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fussy dragon.

Kabarptad created matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kabarptad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kabarptad, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kabarptad's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Kabarptad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Never sing near seals.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Kabarptad.

4. Worship no other gods but Kabarptad.

5. Run away from black birds, for they are unholy.